


The Palace at Theed

by mostlypoptarts



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Family, Hurts So Good, Leia has many feelings, Leia is pregnant, good ol mother-daughter bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlypoptarts/pseuds/mostlypoptarts
Summary: Leia begins to tackle some of the questions and feelings she has about her family, but it is going to be a long process.
Relationships: Leia Organa & Han Solo, Padmé Amidala & Leia Organa
Kudos: 21





	The Palace at Theed

**Author's Note:**

> This had at one point been posted on my fanfiction account, but I decided to move it over here. Hope you enjoy!

Her shuttle lands on Naboo, in the landing bay at the palace at Theed. She’s been here before, once or twice when she insisted on tagging along with her father on diplomatic missions, but this time it feels so different. Maybe it’s because she’s no longer clinging onto the edge of her father’s robes, but it’s not the coy naivete of a little girl. It’s something else entirely. 

The high marble walls of the palace and the rolling hills she glimpses beyond remind Leia so much of Alderaan; The mere memory of home is so breathtaking that her heart aches to see it just one more time. She has a beautiful palace, she tells the Queen. There’s nothing quite like it in the galaxy. She’s pleasant. She means nothing but goodwill by the compliment, but the longer she stays here the more she yearns for her palace, her parents, her home. But she is the last Princess of Alderaan, strong and resolute in the face of adversity. Senator Organa does not grieve, no matter how much little Leia wants to. 

The Queen is a lovely woman, a young girl of only sixteen whose fire and passion make Leia feel like she is looking at a reflection of her past self. But there is no cynicism, just optimism and hope and a strong desire to help her people. It is refreshing, inspiring even, and Leia finds her spirits lifted as she tours the palace, admiring the architecture and design. The palace is so grand and opulent, yet she feels so at home.

By the time Leia and the Queen reach the courtyards the sun hangs low in the sky, painting blues and oranges that melt together seamlessly around the pair across the horizons. Shadows cast long upon the ground leave the pair to walk among the dusk, flitting in and out of the light. In the gardens, flowers are just beginning to bloom (native only to Naboo as she learns) and for a moment Leia is astounded that so much beauty and life exists in the universe when she is so used to death and destruction. A looming figure catches her eye, and Leia finds herself looking at a tall marble statue of a young woman. She is beautiful, with soft curls tumbling down her shoulders and an expression that is calm, but strong. Proud and resolute, but still decidedly feminine, almost motherly. The statue wears a dress typical to Naboo, with a thin veil tracing its way down her back. The sculpting is done so elegantly that Leia can even the curls underneath the veil.

For a moment, she is awestruck.

“Who is this?” She asks the Queen, still staring up at the marble woman who has captured her attention. 

“Padmé Amidala. She was our Queen, before the Clone Wars and served in the Republic Senate. I never knew her. She died young but she is very special to my people.” 

Leia thinks for a moment, her mind wandering back to when she was very little and her father told her stories of Padme Amidala, who fought for justice and peace in a world with so little of it and brought light wherever she went. Then, she thinks of her history books with their stories of the Clone Wars and Senator Amidala, who died a tragically young death while giving birth. Then to Luke, what he told her of their family and all at once she is so overcome with emotion that she needs to request a moment. 

Alone, Leia chokes out a sob and gazes again upon the marble likeness of Amidala, the woman she knows somewhere in her heart of hearts to be her mother. Somehow, she knew this all along. But there was something so terribly wrong about this revelation. This woman looked too pure, too strong, too good to be corrupted by that  _ monster _ called Darth Vader. A hand drifts down to her stomach. It’s a meaningless gesture as there’s nothing to feel yet, no heartbeat or anything. Luke would be able to feel it, a little life that just had to be aligned with the Force even now, but she has no intentions of telling her brother anytime soon. She hasn’t even told Han yet. 

She doesn’t  _ want _ him to know, not yet. Leia isn’t even sure if she can keep the child. She is so young and so busy that having a child now would simply throw everything off balance and make her question everything. Even just the thought of the little life that has attached itself to her makes her heart tremble with fear worse than any run-in with danger. Did she think Han would leave her? Was she just not ready? Did she not love Han enough? 

Her soft brown eyes drift upward again, as if the stone visage of her mother could offer an answer. Padme Amidala, a woman who seemed like light itself, her mother. She seemed kind, strong and stern when she wanted to be but beautiful and kind and so, so alive. Such a stark contrast with the darkness, the mechanical whirring and the deep, heavy dread she associated with the man she supposed was her father. And yet, she loved him. Padme Amidala loved Darth Vader- Anakin Skywalker- enough to have her and Luke. Her mother could love such an evil man, and here she stands questioning her own love for Han, who is ten times the man her father ever could have been.

For a moment she is angry, the type of anger she fears. It bubbles up inside herself before she can stop it. It feels like smoke filling her lungs, festering and choking her until she pushes it back into the pit of her stomach and calms herself. It does her no good to be angry at a dead man, and it only taints the image of her mother to resent her for loving a man who no doubt loved her just as strongly. Deep down she knows that no one can be entirely evil just as no one can be perfect, and she tries to feel that same forgiveness Luke talks about. With Padme, that is easy. The woman in marble looks so strong and so much like Leia (like the woman Leia wants to be) and it is easy to forgive her for an unintentional sin when there was so much good in her already. But Leia only sees the worst of herself in that cold black mask that belonged to Vader. She thinks of him often as of late, when she gets angry or finds herself thinking of how much she hates her father. Forgiveness does not come easy for the man who took away her home and her family.

Forgiveness is going to be a slow and painful process, she decides, and Padme is enough for now. She will make Padme Amidala proud, not only of Senator Organa but of Leia- the girl, the woman, and perhaps even the mother. If Senator Amidala could be a strong woman, and still a romantic at heart and even a mother, she can too. Eventually, she feels a calm settle over her, in a way she hasn’t felt in years. Even without proper training in the ways of the Force, she knows enough to feel that she is centered in it, and everything Luke has said begins to make some sense.

For now, she is happy, and she returns to the Queen with newfound confidence in herself.


End file.
